Children and traumatic grief

We don’t necessarily experience a trauma reaction when a loved one dies but we might and if we do, it is important to understand the workings of trauma. One child in a family might have a trauma reaction to the death of their parent while their brother or sister does not. Children’s symptoms of trauma can be confused with misbehaving so it is even more … Continue reading Children and traumatic grief

a cup o’ kindness yet (for auld lang syne)

When Ute Amann-Seidel tells me she is building “a community of enjoyment and self-care”, I want that to be as good as it sounds. Later in the interview, when I get round to my list of silly questions – the ones I would think but not normally say – the way she answers them, with kindness, patience, facts, examples and sometimes with a laugh, makes … Continue reading a cup o’ kindness yet (for auld lang syne)

The messy stuff of being human that most grief books don’t mention

The people that Julia Samuels talks about in her book, Grief Works. Stories of Life, Death and Surviving, are complicated.   The first story tells of a woman living with her dying husband while having an affair. Their marriage had been difficult and after his death she spiraled out of control. We read of her path to finding some stability and calm.   In the … Continue reading The messy stuff of being human that most grief books don’t mention

Book review: The Owl At The Window

Carl Gorham has written a memoir about life with his wife Vikki, her death and how he got through the first year or so of widowhood with their six-year-old daughter.   I listened to the audiobook version, which is read by comedian Alan Davies. It might be my favourite reading of an audiobook. His voice conveys real warmth and copes equally well with the emotionally … Continue reading Book review: The Owl At The Window

Common conditions that share symptoms with grief

The standard advice is that grief is hard on your physical and mental health so feeling awful in the early days is normal. When we ask how long before we can expect to stop feeling awful, we’re told that it’s different for everyone.   There is a world of good intentions in this advice. It’s a reaction against years of bereaved people being expected to … Continue reading Common conditions that share symptoms with grief