Helping the school to help your child

Nowadays there are organisations that train teachers and school boards on how they can support bereaved children. However, just in case your child’s teacher missed that in-service training day, here are some good things for you to know.   Your first hurdle might be your child not wanting anyone at school to know that their mum or dad has died. Maybe they saw how another … Continue reading Helping the school to help your child

The messy stuff of being human that most grief books don’t mention

The people that Julia Samuels talks about in her book, Grief Works. Stories of Life, Death and Surviving, are complicated.   The first story tells of a woman living with her dying husband while having an affair. Their marriage had been difficult and after his death she spiraled out of control. We read of her path to finding some stability and calm.   In the … Continue reading The messy stuff of being human that most grief books don’t mention

Review: All At Sea by Decca Aitkenhead

Decca is a British journalist whose first book was The Promised Land. Travels in search of the perfect E. I read her in Cosmopolitan in my twenties and she now writes about politics, the arts and more for The Guardian. She’s always seemed razor-sharp and fearless and she brings every ounce of that to her new book, All at Sea. The story tells of her … Continue reading Review: All At Sea by Decca Aitkenhead

Q&A: My siblings think my frail mum should move in with me

Q: My brother and sister think my elderly mother should move in with me. Is there any help available as she gets more frail?   A: The first step is to ask yourself if you truly want your mum to move in with you. Better to find an alternative now than go through the stress of it not working and inflicting two moves on your … Continue reading Q&A: My siblings think my frail mum should move in with me

Family strife: A short resource guide

A little understanding and a fresh perspective can go a long way.   The Association of Family Therapy www.aft.org.uk   When Difficult Relatives Happen to Good People by Dr Leonard Felder (also a book but this talk is gently humorous) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYd87Be594Y   Coping with Difficult Families by Dr Jane McGregor and Tim McGregor   Families and how to Survive Them by Robin Skynner and John … Continue reading Family strife: A short resource guide

Pace your willpower

One take-away from Dan Ariely’s book, The (Honest) Truth about Dishonesty, is that we make worse decisions when we’re stressed. You knew that already but there’s a scientifically proven reason, which is called ego-depletion.   What you need to know is that if you have to show serious willpower for a task, cut yourself some slack beforehand.   The examples used are around food: to … Continue reading Pace your willpower

Books on multiple bereavements: Blue Nights

There are very few books about grief for the death of a grown-up child. Fewer still written by widowed people. The widow taking on this subject is one of the best writers in recent decades.   Blue Nights by Joan Didion   This is the second half of the story that begins in A Year of Magical Thinking. The first book describes the first year … Continue reading Books on multiple bereavements: Blue Nights