They say you can get away with anything if you walk purposefully and carry a clipboard. At times of uncertainty we all look for the person who seems to know what they’re doing but those are the times when it is most important to be that person in your life. Okay, let’s be honest: none of us really know what we’re doing. At best … Continue reading Statement of intent
We all have financial bad habits. Grief can throw us so far off our game that we don’t even see them. These three ways of thinking are common.
Continue reading “What not to do”
2014 Little is shown in the cinema of how much bereaved people struggle to be kind to one another while containing the fury churned up by loss. We tie ourselves in knots. We fail. Mired in shame and remorse, we have no choice but to keep moving forward. The films that have ventured into this territory have been high drama affairs. August: Osage … Continue reading Film review: Lilting
Decca is a British journalist whose first book was The Promised Land. Travels in search of the perfect E. I read her in Cosmopolitan in my twenties and she now writes about politics, the arts and more for The Guardian. She’s always seemed razor-sharp and fearless and she brings every ounce of that to her new book, All at Sea. The story tells of her … Continue reading Review: All At Sea by Decca Aitkenhead
Q: My brother and sister think my elderly mother should move in with me. Is there any help available as she gets more frail? A: The first step is to ask yourself if you truly want your mum to move in with you. Better to find an alternative now than go through the stress of it not working and inflicting two moves on your … Continue reading Q&A: My siblings think my frail mum should move in with me
A little understanding and a fresh perspective can go a long way. The Association of Family Therapy www.aft.org.uk When Difficult Relatives Happen to Good People by Dr Leonard Felder (also a book but this talk is gently humorous) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYd87Be594Y Coping with Difficult Families by Dr Jane McGregor and Tim McGregor Families and how to Survive Them by Robin Skynner and John … Continue reading Family strife: A short resource guide
For many people this is the last working day before the Christmas holidays. If Christmas is painful, having to endure it without the distraction of work is a daunting prospect. Each winter issue we publish a list of helplines and online forums that are open for all or most of the holidays. Here is this year’s one. Also, have a look out for hashtags connecting … Continue reading Open all hours
One take-away from Dan Ariely’s book, The (Honest) Truth about Dishonesty, is that we make worse decisions when we’re stressed. You knew that already but there’s a scientifically proven reason, which is called ego-depletion. What you need to know is that if you have to show serious willpower for a task, cut yourself some slack beforehand. The examples used are around food: to … Continue reading Pace your willpower
Q: It’s been a year and my sister thinks I should be over it by now. My sister-in-law agrees with her. They say they miss my husband as much as I do but that wasting my life is not the answer. I know they’re right but I don’t feel like joining the big rowdy girls’ nights that I used to enjoy. A: A few … Continue reading Q&A: My sister thinks I should be over it by now
There are very few books about grief for the death of a grown-up child. Fewer still written by widowed people. The widow taking on this subject is one of the best writers in recent decades. Blue Nights by Joan Didion This is the second half of the story that begins in A Year of Magical Thinking. The first book describes the first year … Continue reading Books on multiple bereavements: Blue Nights
It’s like a very slow, strange, re-birth. And my first words as I try to get the measure of this new life, turn out to be a series of “No”s.
I’m as surprised as anyone. Really.
Continue reading “A stroppy new me”
If you are worried about children leaving home at the end of this summer, specifically, dreading how you’ll feel without them, then a bit of acceptance and some planning will help.
Continue reading “Empty nest syndrome”